


For you are with me

by Lizardbeth



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Families of Choice, Gen, Mentor/Protégé
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-16 12:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/861838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizardbeth/pseuds/Lizardbeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On Minbar telepaths are trained to serve, but for trainee Alisa Beldon her closeness with Jeff Sinclair sets her path.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For you are with me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jenn_Calaelen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenn_Calaelen/gifts).



> This fic is based somewhat loosely on "To Dream in the City of Sorrows", inserting Alisa where she didn't exist in the book. I've always thought it was a shame that she didn't play any role in the Rangers or even in Jeff's time there. So this was my chance to fix that.

* * *

 

Alisa found the attention the strangest thing about Minbar. They were polite and friendly, even in their minds when she caught stray thoughts, but their  eyes were on her _constantly_. On the station, she'd cultivated not being noticed, and here, they watched her all the time.

Some watched her like a stray tiger was loose in the yard who might do something wild any second; some with dismay that a human was on Minbar at all; and some with a condescending amazement that a human would wish to serve in the same way a Minbari did with their telepathy (apparently the concept of commercial telepaths was one they found pretty appalling). But always, **always** there were eyes. Her teachers were the most understanding as they watched her, since they knew her mind, but still she longed to pass unnoticed, even if she no longer needed to steal things to eat.

She found ways through the building, finding that a hood and a bow of the head  whenever she encountered people were often enough to let her slip past. The crisp air and lack of eyes was another relief, once she found her way outside, even if the open air felt too big and strange at first after her time on the station.

But she got used to it, as she got used to the food. At first she wolfed it down, fearing there wouldn't be more, but someone always brought more and presented it so politely she felt both foolish and rude, so she stopped. 

They tried to give her a slanted bed which she simply couldn't sleep on, and so she slept on the floor, which was a bit nicer and less crowded floor than the floor on Babylon 5, but mostly the same. The bed stayed, remade for her every day, and every night she moved the pad and the blankets to the floor.

The worker who tended her chamber eventually asked, her eyes downcast, "You do not wish the bed?" 

"No," Alisa confirmed. "Thank you. But this is something I have to do."

The worker bowed deeply and while Alisa was at lessons, the bed disappeared, to be replaced by a thicker futon and blankets.

Her lessons gave her a sense of freedom, as she grew more and more sure with her shields and less prone to hearing the cacophony of too many minds. Though at least the Minbari were more generally disciplined and even the non-telepaths had a rudimentary protection from a casual scan, which she found very relieving when she slipped.

Sometimes it was hard and frustrating, and more than once she cried herself to sleep, exhausted and sick of everything alien. She thought of Babylon 5 and missed her parents desperately, missed the group of kids she'd hung out with there, missed the old man on level 19 who kept her stuff safe, she missed Susan and Talia and the nice doctor in Medlab, and she missed the commander.  He'd had such a comforting _solidity_ to him. 

But time passed, as it always did, taken up by lessons in telepathy and Minbari language and history.

She discovered by sheer chance - a whisper from a passing mind about the " _human ambassador Sinclair_ " - that she was not the only human resident on Minbar. Suddenly all that homesickness crashed back on her, reminding her of Commander Sinclair. She had never before heard of a human Ambassador named Sinclair. Was it him? Had he come here, too?

"Why didn't anyone tell me that Commander Sinclair was here?" she demanded of Sech Turfan.

Turfan confirmed her assumption that the new ambassador was the commander, saying, "The ambassador is busy, I am sure."

"Busy. Too busy to ask to see me? He remembers me - it wasn't that long ago."

"Perhaps he did ask," Turfan said. "Your training is not complete."

She'd seen other trainees give in to Turfan's calm resistance and knew that was what he expected her to do. But she could feel her own resistance dig in, and her back stiffened. They were good to her here and she was grateful, but she wasn't some fragile ice sculpture to be kept in isolation, away from her own people. "He's my friend!" she objected. "I want to see him."

"A communications - "

"No. I want to see him in person," she declared, folding her arms and prepared to be very stubborn about this. "Visit him."

Turfan looked at her with interest. "You feel strongly about this. Almost a need."

"I want to see him."

"Are you drawn there?" Turfan asked, with a curious intensity to his brown eyes.

She didn't think she liked the implication, as if she had some sort of crush. "I miss him, that's all. It's been months since I've seen another human face, Sech Turfan, please. I want to see him. He's here in Yedor, right?  Tell me where, and I'll go myself."

That was the first thing she'd said that seemed to bother him. "No, that will not be necessary. I will make the arrangements."

She bowed her head and took her leave.

Nothing on Minbar, at least not her part of it, moved quickly. It was another week before one of her designated minders, a senior trainee named Dulann, who was a very weak telepath, but nobody seemed inclined to kick him out of the school, volunteered to escort her to the Earth Alliance embassy. 

It was a grand name for what was essentially a large house, but she smiled to see the two human faces in the waiting area. They were strangers, but it didn't matter; she wanted to leap at them and pet their hair.

They also looked annoyed as Dulann brought her past them to an inner room, where there was tea waiting. Very shortly, Sinclair came in. "Alisa!"  He had a broad smile and he'd let his hair grow out from his military brush cut to go with his suit. It didn't look quite right on him, she thought, but then it didn’t matter as she gave him a fierce hug.

"They didn't even tell me you were here!" she complained. "I found out by accident a week ago."

"I kept asking to see you, but they told me you were too busy in your training," he said, a wry understanding smile on his lips. "I'm glad you're here. Tell me how your lessons are."

She tucked her feet beneath her on the low couch, accepted the tea cup from his hands, and was happy to tell him everything. The words poured out of her, and he listened.

He listened like a Minbari, she thought when he got up to fetch the tea pot - with his attention, without impatience, clearly wanting to know the truth about how she was doing.  His mind was also very quiet; she caught few stray thoughts from him and thought she'd probably have to actively scan him to get more. 

When she told the story of the bed, he chuckled. "Ah yes. I had to fight my own little war over that."

"Really?" she asked, and grinned. "At least it's not only me, making them think I'm crazy."

"Definitely not. And you're learning the Minbari languages?"

"Vik and Adronato," she answered and wrinkled her nose. "It's hard."

 "I can help you if you like," he offered.  "If you can stay for dinner?"

She had no idea if Dulann wanted to get back, but she decided he could wait. She was spending time with her people's ambassador, and it was her choice. She smiled. "I'd love to."

"It's probably exactly the same food," he warned her, getting to his feet and heading to the door. "I haven't managed to import much off-world food, or convinced them to make any human dishes. So I can't offer you anything from Earth."

She shrugged. "It's not the meal, it's the company." But then she grinned. "Isn't the ambassador supposed to show off our culture? That's what I remember on the station. Showing off religious festivals and banquets... Seems to me EA should be sending you that sort of thing."

He lifted his brows. "Well, if being here wasn't just to get me off Babylon 5, maybe Earthdome would help more."

Intrigued by that, and the sudden flash of deep anger rising from him, she started to ask, but he held up a hand. "Over dinner."

He gave instructions to an assistant, who tried to tell Sinclair that Alisa had to go back to the telepath school, but the ambassador answered with a genial hardness, "Ms Beldon is my guest, Kozorr. One of my citizens, whom you've been keeping from me for the last three weeks, not to mention she doesn't know anything about things happening. She needs to know."

Kozorr looked irritated but bowed and left.

Over dinner, which was in fact the exact same thing she could have eaten in the school dining hall, he told her about Babylon 5 and scary events in Earth Alliance.

She looked into his bronze eyes and she didn't even have to scan him to know. "You think it's going to get worse."

"It's going to get much worse," he confirmed softly, gaze going distant while the murmur of his thoughts felt sad. "Santiago was a moderate voice, but Clark's a xenophobe, and PsiCorps … I don't know their angle, but they're involved up to their necks."

She finished her custard, very disturbed by the news. Putting together what he'd said earlier, he'd been pushed out by the new administration because he'd been too cozy with the aliens. "Maybe we're both lucky we got away from there," she murmured.  "I hope Susan and Talia and Doctor Franklin will be all right." Then she looked up at him, curious. "You're not treating me like a kid."

His smile was a bit crooked and wry. "You can handle it, and you need to know what's going on out there." He looked around the room - it was lovely, as most Minbari room décor was, in cool colors of gray and purple and blue with crystalline sculptures and a water feature in the corner. "They mean well, but they'd isolate us from everything but our duty if they could. But we can't _do_ what we need to do if we're kept from other people." He turned back to her and said, "Remember that, Alisa. It's about the people; always."

She nodded, feeling his utter conviction in his words and allowing it to sink into her as well. This was what the Minbari talked about with all their words of service and honor and calling; this was what they _meant._ It was about people, other people, all people, everywhere, not only the two dozen in her school.

Then, meaning it as a joke, she said, "Maybe we should get together for dinner regularly, just to, y'know, see another human face once in a while."

He paid no attention to her light tone, seeing right through it and nodding slowly. "I think that's an excellent idea. I'll tell Kozorr to arrange it with your teachers."

"And don't take no, or maybe, for an answer," she advised. "They'll 'maybe' you into 'never' if you let them."

"Oh, I know. Believe me, I know." His aggravation made her laugh.

Later, as she took her leave, she was going to give him the polite Minbari bow that also eliminated the problem of skin contact so she wouldn't scan him by accident, but she couldn't do it. Just as she'd done on the station, she hugged him, whispering into his shoulder, "I'm so glad you're here."

His arms tightened, already familiar and welcome. He wasn't her dad, but he felt like … home. "Me, too, Alisa. You take care of yourself."

She gave him a jaunty grin and a shrug. "I'm not the one dealing with human trading consortiums and warrior caste leaders, I should be saying that to you. See you in two weeks."

Her teachers weren't overjoyed by the new social plans, but Alisa just smiled, unwilling to let them ruin her mood. On the appointed day, she acted as if everything would be ready and it was.

Except that everything was not as it had been. First, she found that the Earth Alliance embassy had moved to the very picturesque and awe-inspiring Anla'shok temple compound on the north edge of the city. Second, she found Sinclair had put aside his civilian suits, to wear clothes of more Minbari cut. But most of all, she found that he wasn't quite the same, either. There was a heaviness in his thoughts, a new _awareness_ , that worried her as much as it made her curious.

It was also puzzling when she realized the slim religious caste Minbari talking to him was Rathenn, and every other Minbari in here called Rathenn "Satai" in their thoughts. One of the _Grey Council_ was here?

She sidled closer to listen, when she realized they were arguing about her - he wanted to tell her something, which Rathenn wanted kept secret.

"She's a telepath," Sinclair reminded the Minbari impatiently. "She'll find out anyway. And besides, don't you always say the Rangers will find their way? She's already here."

"As a telepath she will serve a different way," Rathenn insisted.

"She needs to know," Sinclair countered and stared him down. To her shock, Rathenn gave in, bowing his head.

"If you think it wise, ambassador." He passed Alisa on his way out, giving her a nod of his head. "Ms Beldon."

She hastily bowed, but he was gone before she could decide if she was supposed to address him as Satai or not.

Sinclair strode to her, with a welcoming smile. "Alisa."

"Nicer digs," her eyes roved over the spacious room, "I approve. But how did EA ever agree to moving their embassy to a temple?"

He gave her an innocent look. "I might have left that part out." But his humor faded for a return of the dark awareness in his mind. "Come, take a seat, there's something more important happening I need to tell you about."

That was when she learned about the Rangers and the Shadows. His voice was deep and level, telling her about the war to come with these immensely powerful beings who sought domination and chaos and death.

"I can show you, if you like," he offered. "It turns out I've already seen them. You … may not want to know, though."

Because it was frightening, and because it would change her life. Because nothing learned could be unlearned and he was giving her the chance to let it pass her by.

But she already knew she couldn't. She had to know. And if there was some way her knowing would help him, she needed to do that, too.

She held out her hand, palm upward, and met his eyes. "Show me."

He hesitated briefly, but even then, she glimpsed it -- reddish sand and a _creature._ Then he put his hand on hers and the connection tightened.

… _red sand of Mars, him and Garibaldi, a secret Psi Corps facility, an alien ship buried in the Martian dust, and then a second ship arriving to free the first… blacker than night, sucking all the light to it, a giant flying horrifying spider of the void, and worst of all, a feeling of utter terror and revulsion that it invoked…_

She jerked free, panting, eyes wide but still seeing that ship. "Oh my god," she whispered. "That thing."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shown you," he murmured. "Rathenn was right. This was too much--"

"No, it's okay." She inhaled a deep breath and used her training to calm down and rebuild her shield. Unfortunately now that thing was in her own memory, that giant creepy bug ship, and it was not so easily put aside. She was trembling, and he held out an arm for her to slide underneath and cuddle next to him. He was solid and he was strong, which was almost enough. Then, somehow, he filled his thoughts with images of … a garden. Flowers. Sunshine. The sound of bees.

He was doing it with enough clarity and focus that she couldn't help seeing it, too, and knew he was doing it deliberately to help her calm down. "Where is that?" she murmured. "What you're thinking for me?"

He murmured, still concentrating on the garden, so it filled his surface thoughts, "On Earth. A garden at the school I went to when I was your age. One of my favorite places."

"It's beautiful. Thank you. How did you even know how to do that?" she asked curiously.

"I learned how to meditate there, so it's my focus place. And I have a bit of empathic talent, I'm told."

"Ah, that's why. You have a nice mind. Comforting."

He chuckled. "I'm glad."

She lifted her head to look at him earnestly, sensing regret in him for needing to be comforting. "You were right to show me. If these things are coming, we're not just going to sit around and pretend they don't exist."

"No, we're not," he agreed.

She put her head back on his shoulder and closed her eyes, and for a time they both rested there, content. His Minbari tunic was much softer than the Earth clothes had been. His fingers idly smoothed her hair at the back of her head, and that was nice, too. "So you're going to be Anla'shok Na?"

"Yes," he murmured. "Minbari have this idea that it's my destiny. But it seems like the right thing to do, especially if I can get some Humans and Minbari working together. "

"I like it. I think it's a good idea."

"Not everybody does, but I suspect Rathenn and Delenn aren't going to let that stop them," he added wryly. "But I'll have to spend some time at Tuzanor as well, so I may have to put our dinners on hold." She made a face, not liking that at all. He patted her knee. "Let's go eat and you can tell me about what you've been doing. I'd rather hear about that."

Over a dinner of crackers, tiny boiled eggs, and mashed vegetables, she told him what she was learning. He liked hearing about it, though he was more interested in her teachers and the friends she was making than in the lessons themselves.

When it was time to go back to the training compound, hugging him felt like a natural thing to do. This time, before he could say anything, she teased, "I'd tell you to keep out of trouble, but I know that's kind of your thing."

"Which one of us was arrested for petty thievery in the Zocalo?" he countered.

She rolled her eyes. "Please. I was in Susan's mind."

"Can't fool you at all, can I?" he asked in pretended dismay, smile glimmering at his lips.

"Nope." She laughed. If only he knew how often people's surface thoughts around him included something about _'he's making trouble again'._ But his was the kind of trouble that people should get into more often.

It was another month before she saw him again, as he was preparing to move to Tuzanor. Two weeks after that dinner, there was a message from a human Ranger named William Cole with somber eyes that Ambassador Sinclair was very ill, and he'd left instructions to tell her.

She ran from the comm room straight to Sech Turfan's chamber. "I need to go to Tuzanor.  Right away."

Thankfully, he didn't argue with her, suggesting he'd also received some kind of word about the ambassador's illness, and he sent Dulann with her. They found a transport willing to let telepath trainees hitch a ride out to the holy city.

Tuzanor was beautiful, and she knew it was very ancient, but she couldn't concentrate on the city at all, looking blindly out the window and hoping he would be okay.

Dulann was more help in finding out where to go, and she was more help in getting them through the various gatekeepers that tried to keep them away, using her best glare of 'I survived Downbelow on my own and now I'm a telepath so don't mess with me, plus the guy who's kind of my dad on this planet is sick and maybe dying, so get out of my fragging way.' It worked pretty well, especially when they got to Kozorr. He knew better than to keep her out.

The small room of the separate house was white-walled with high windows, and there was a human-style bed. Sinclair was there, eyes closed, with the covers drawn up to his chest. He was frightfully still.

Reminded of her father's death, she stared, heart hammering in her chest and unable to make her feet go closer at first. Then his chest moved and she realized he was alive, and that unlocked her feet to go closer. His hand didn't return her grip when she tentatively took hold, but at least his skin was warm. Even when she probed him telepathically, there was nothing. He was so deeply asleep she couldn't touch him, without risking getting lost.

"Hey," she whispered hoarsely, "they actually told me you were sick and let me come. Shocking, right? But you have to get better. All these Rangers here, they need you. I need you. I - I can't lose someone else. I can't. Please."

She bent down to put her head on their joined hands, offering her clumsy, but heartfelt prayers in this place of peace.

"Alisa?" a soft voice asked, and she turned to see Delenn in the doorway.

The shock of Delenn's new hair hadn't quite worn off for Alisa, but it was good to see another familiar face.

Delenn coaxed her from the room and that allowed Alisa to explode with her questions, "What happened? Why is he sick? Is he gonna die?"

"No, fortunately that danger has passed. It will take a few days of recovery but he will be well. He did something… heartfelt, but somewhat unwise. We discovered that the plant extract used in the ceremony to elevate him to Entil'zha is a deadly poison to humans. I argued he need not take it at all, the warrior caste refused to accept his elevation without it, and … in the end, Jeffrey compromised in taking a small amount with the antidote at hand. It was more dangerous than we anticipated."

"You mean he did this on _purpose_?" Alisa demanded, in shock, but not surprise.

"As officially and formally declared Entil'zha, the first in a thousand years, he thought it was necessary to extend his authority beyond the human Rangers. Many Minbari would not listen to him without it."  It sounded reasonable when Delenn said it, except for the part about poisoning himself to death.

"When he wakes up, I'm going to yell at him for doing something so stupid," Alisa vowed darkly. "Scaring me like that."

"You feel strongly," Delenn observed, her hands folded calmly, but Alisa was used to Minbari by now and wasn't fooled by Delenn's quiet.

"We talk," Alisa shrugged, trying to pass it off as casual. "He's my friend. My ambassador."

"Oh, he is ever so much more than that," Delenn murmured and for just a moment, there was something in the surface of her thoughts. Something Alisa couldn't quite grasp before it was gone, but something about his soul. Or Valen's soul. Or were they the same thing?

At dinner she and Dulann ate with the other Ranger trainees, and she found it was a lot like eating with the telepath trainees, just with less mind-reading. She'd already declared her intent not to go back until Sinclair was at least awake and on the mend, but to her surprise, Dulann said he would stay also, curious about the Rangers.

They were a group just as devoted to service as her own telepathic students, just in a different way. They were fiercer - some had already been victims of the Shadows and were eager to fight - but equally focused. They were following their own calling, she realized.

The dining hall was subdued while Entil'zha was sick, but not morose or anxious, and in the evening the instruments came out. She listened, smiling, as the humans sang and played, Minbari joining in.

Their minds weren't noise; they were a song, a complex symphony that flowed over and around her, peacefully without pain.

 _This is what I want to feel,_ she thought. _This is how it's supposed to be, between people. Harmony._

The impromptu party was winding down and she was about to seek out a place to sleep, when Kozorr appeared at her elbow and murmured, "He's awake."

She bounced up to her feet and followed. Sinclair looked asleep but his eyes opened when he heard her voice. "Jeff?" she called softly, "How are you feeling?"

Sinclair frowned, both in pain and apparent puzzlement. "Alisa?" His hoarse voice made her wince.

She sat beside him on the bed and smiled. "They called me. Made it sound like you were dying, so of course I came. If you ever, ever do something so stupid as take deadly poison on purpose again, I will make sure you regret it." Then as extra punctuation, she put a finger on his forehead to make sure he got the point. But she couldn't keep up the severity, not when his lips looked gray and she could feel his hand tremble against her leg. "I was so worried," she whispered.

He lifted his hand, trying to touch her face, but falling to her shoulder to grip it briefly. "It's okay, Alisa. It was necessary, but it's over."

Except it wasn't really over, because she could sense the pain in him, rising from him like heat from a fire - the headache that pounded behind his eyes, his throat was raw, and the nerves in the rest of his body still burned from the poison. "Go back to sleep, I'm not going anywhere," she urged him and focused her telepathy on him, trying to soothe the pain centers and send him back asleep.

Her push was a little hard - his eyes closed and his hand dropped off her shoulder, as he fell instantly unconscious like he'd passed out. It was a peaceful, painless sleep and she was rather proud of herself for helping. It was the first time she'd deliberately helped someone with her talent.

She ensconced herself on the couch in his living room and politely refused to leave when the Minbari politely suggested she find another place to sleep.

After that, he improved, and they had several great days while he recovered. He talked to her about the Rangers and what they were doing, the news from Babylon 5, and the growing creeping horror in the rest of the known galaxy. He helped her with Adronato, because he picked up languages like breathing and despite her telepathy, she struggled. He read to her with that voice that finally showed her what people saw in poetry. She demonstrated how she could now form an illusion and project it into other people's heads, and his trust and pride in her was like a warm flame that she could bask in.

After he was able to stand up for longer than a few minutes, she listened to him speak to the Ranger trainees, and she felt how their hearts were moved to determination and loyalty. She watched him pick up his denn'bok training again, moving with a fluidity that astonished her, and decided she wanted to wield one.

Dulann learned it, too, keeping company with the Ranger trainees while she'd been with their leader. She wasn't surprised when it was time for her to go back to Yedor, that Dulann was going to stay in Tuzanor. "This is where I'm meant to be," he told her earnestly.

She wanted to stay, too, but knew she could help more by getting more training in her skills. When it was time to catch her transport, Sinclair presented her with a denn'bok. She held it, touched by the gesture, since she knew couldn't have happened easily.

"I won't say the oath, because I'm not a proper Ranger. But it's still true," she promised the new Entil'zha. "I promise I'll make you proud of me."

He smiled warmly. "I'm already proud of you."

She tried to smile back but it seemed to catch in her chest, her heart growing and forcing tears into her eyes. She hugged him fiercely and hard, and he hugged her back and kissed the top of her head. His emotions brimmed with affection, and she reflected it back to him, making sure he could feel hers, too. "I'll miss you, kiddo. You take care."

"You, too." She put her hand over her heart in the Minbari farewell to a loved one and bowed her head, saying with her own pride in who he was and what he had become. "Entil'zha."

She always remembered that farewell later. They had a few others afterward, but none quite so meaningful or emotional. It was the one that shone in her memories after she received his letter that told her he was going away and not coming back.

And why.

At first she could only stare at the handwritten words, wondering if she was misunderstanding, but knew she was not. It was true, confirmed shortly afterward when Sech Turfan brought her word from the public comm that the entire Minbari Federation, but especially the Anla'shok, were mourning Entil'zha Sinclair, who was reported killed in action against the Shadows.

She didn't want to hear this, didn't want to read the words again, and she had to do both.

She headed for the temple on the school grounds. She'd never entered it, fearing to disrespect Minbari faith with her lack of it. Except now she didn't know what to believe and she hoped there would be answers inside.

It was a small place, with fully crystal walls that in daylight would shine with a multitude of colors and at night gleamed from the light of candles. In the center, on a round dais lit by tapers and candles, a statue of Valen stood. It was a generic male Minbari in robes, and no matter how intently she looked at the face, it looked nothing like Jeffrey Sinclair.

At first what he'd written seemed ridiculous. Why was she kneeling there, looking at a Minbari statue of someone dead for a thousand years, when he was nothing like her friend? It was impossible.

Valen.

She realized she was fiercely angry, at the Minbari, at him, at whoever had decided to take him away.

She knelt there, perfumed scent of the candles filling her nose and slowly her mind as well, washing away the anger.

Taking the letter, she held it to the candles and laid it on the altar to watch it burn, because he'd said the Minbari weren't ready to know. But as always, he'd told her the truth. Then, calm again, she held her hands over her knees and closed her eyes, opening her mind as she'd been taught. It was late and most of the people in her vicinity were sleeping, so the minds were quiet.

 _Are you here?_ she asked silently. _They say sometimes Valen answers in the temples… is that wishful thinking or do you really hear us?  If Valen "went beyond", didn't die, does that mean you really are out there, somewhere, a spirit who can hear me if I talk to you? Or are you a thousand years dead and I'm talking to myself? Did any of this really happen, or were you killed near B5 and this letter is nothing but a fairy tale?_

_I just… I don't know if I can do this on my own… I need you, I don't want to be alone …_

The scent of the candles shifted to new rain and flowers. In her mind, a projection formed of a garden, with sunlight shining on the colorful petals of a multitude of flowers from both Earth and Minbar. Bees buzzed and tiny Minbari jilu chirped as they flew from flower to flower.

Alisa lifted her head and looked all around; she saw fruit trees and a wall of climbing peas, but not the one she most wanted to see. It was his garden, she knew it was; the scene blended the one she'd seen before and the Minbari garden next to the house in Tuzanor.

She was not creating it.

_Entil'zha, Jeff, are you here? Please, be here..._

A welcome and warm presence formed at her back, and a strong hand clasped her shoulder. It kept her from turning to see him, but she knew who it was.

Tears were running down her cheeks, but she smiled, feeling the same sense of safety she'd always felt with him. He wasn't gone; he was there.

 _"I miss you already,"_ she whispered.

" _I missed you everyday. You taught me so much,"_ he said in that rich familiar voice and she didn't care that she didn't hear it with her ears.

She choked out a startled laugh. " _Me? You taught **me** …_" She turned and hugged him tight, burying her face in the velvety feel of his outer robe. He felt the same under her hands. " _Please don't go."_

His hand stroked her hair. " _You're never alone, Alisa. I'm always with you, I promise_."

The promise comforted her, because she believed he would keep it. He would always walk beside her, and she would never be completely alone, not ever again. When she opened her eyes, the garden was gone and the interior of the shrine was deserted.

Yet not entirely deserted; the sense of his presence lingered, here in this holy place. He had become something much greater, and yet, he was still her teacher and her friend.

"I'll continue our work," she promised him. "Our calling, to bring people together in peace."

She lit a candle, bowed, and murmured the ritual words, " _Entil'zha veni_."

When she turned and left the room, she said no goodbyes, because she left nothing behind.

 


End file.
